How heavy is your armor? And I’m not referring to physical armor, but your emotional armor — the one that you developed over the years to protect yourself from being hurt.
Brené Brown is an American research professor, lecturer, author, storyteller, and podcast host. She is known for her two-decade long research on shame, vulnerability, and leadership. Her TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks in the world, with over 58 million views.
Brené defines Vulnerability as the willingness to show up and be seen, when you cannot control the outcome. And this is actually our greatest measure of courage.
For those of us who work on the commercial side of a business, it is important to be creative in what we do. We need to create things that did not exist before we produced them.
In marketing, sales, business development, or leading an organization, we all have to show up, be creative, often be innovative, and be seen by others. This is also very true for everyone that works in a start-up.
Brené talks about the place you show up as “the arena”. And if you are going to show up and be seen in the arena, she says there is only one thing guaranteed: “You’ll get your a** kicked!”
This is something you cannot avoid, and you have to decide if courage is a value that you hold. Because, once in the arena, you will feel fear, self-doubt, anxiety, and uncertainty.
This is when we arm up and shut ourselves off from everything that we love to do. This is also when we numb vulnerability. We try to avoid fear, shame, grief, and disappointment.
But what we sometimes fail to understand is that vulnerability is also the birthplace of love, joy, of belonging… of trust, empathy, creativity… and innovation.
If you think about it, the most valuable, most creative things we do, come with a sense of fear and uncertainty.
Before we show up, we have a sense of shame, feeling that we are not __________ enough (you fill in the blank). We may experience the “Imposter Syndrome” and often compare ourselves to others that we believe are better than us.
Then we take off the armor, find the courage and show up. We have to do this whether it’s successful or not. Why? because we can’t control the outcome.
The worst thing that can happen is that we will fail. And if it happens, we let it sink in for a while and recover. And the next time we’re back in the arena, who knows? Maybe we will succeed!
Growth comes with pain. And there is no easy way around it.
In the workplace, organizational culture pretty much defines how individuals behave.
In places where respect and the dignity of individuals are held as the highest values, and where empathy and accountability are part of the organizational culture — creativity, innovation, productivity, and trust are part of the work ethic.
On the other hand, when shame and blame are part of the management style, you will inevitably find fear and distrust everywhere you go in that workplace.
Now, some people like the conformity, convenience and stability which are normally found in a corporate environment. Honest conversations about vulnerability and shame are disruptive, and creativity is not required and sometimes suppressed in this culture.
In a start-up mode, where there is an everchanging environment, where everybody works under a lot of stress due to limited resources and time constraints, learning, innovation, and creativity are the key factors to move forward. Vulnerability and resilience to failure are essential.
As always, it is a matter of choice where you want to be. It is not black or white, but rather a variety of colors.
Each one of us is a complex human being, and we need to decide how we want to lead our lives with the decisions we make.
I was “lucky” to experience both ends of the range, and that is why I decided to show up in this arena every Wednesday and bring my life stories to you in a blog. I have to admit it was terrifying at the start, but it gets easier as I go along.
And now my only wish is that you — yes, you — will make the right choice for yourself.
